I recognize that my blog has typically not included any Liz-like types of thoughtful, insightful posts and frankly this doesn't promise either of these things, but it is something I've been thinking about lately and wanted to send it out to you girls to see what you have to say. I'm really looking for some guidance here, so any advice is completely solicited.
So, my issue right now is that I currently feel like the major areas of my life are sort of up in the air/out of my control and I feel overwhelmed by that. I have certain things that I want to be moving towards and there really is nothing I can do about it.
Thinking about Liz's post a few days ago about feeling like you have to have accomplishments, I am frustrated because I have nothing I can really do to move myself in the direction of my dreams (currently). I know that we have all probably felt like this at one time or another, so I guess this is my time.
My problem really doesn't lie with this, but with the fact that for some reason I am allowing these feelings of frustration to overwhelm me to the point that I make no progress with the smaller areas of my life that I do have control over.
I love making lists and do so regularly, but then I find my way to the couch and watch Project Runway or any cooking show for the 100th time this week. Even when I saw the same episode yesterday.
What I want to know is how to move past the big things and focus on the small things. How do I set aside the large goals and focus on the daily do-able ones.
As I am typing this, I am realizing that this is probably much like the frustration that some feel over not being married. I never really experienced that frustration, so maybe this is my chance to figure out the answer to this question. Maybe for those of you at home with children, you have this same question. Is this a universal thing of large goals being out of reach for a time or forever, to force us or allow us to master the smaller more important things. I only say more important because so often the small things really define who we are when they are added up.
Okay, enough of that, more silly posts later. I have a good one coming thanks to a recent package from Rachel! I know you'll check back now!
4 comments:
I understand what you're saying, I feel the same way. I think we tend to focus on those big things because, well, they're the big things. The things that seem like life-altering decisions and actions. However, often, we can't ultimately control, when/where/if it will happen. And for me, I do get overwhelmed/hopeless about it all sometimes and am unable to work on and even enjoy the smaller things in life. And I'm not just talking about the marriage and family thing, though that is certainly part of it. There are other large, unspoken goals that can't be controled and overwhelm me from doing much of anything else. This is one of the main topics in therapy because it's a pretty big contributor to my depression issues. It's a lot of work to try overcome and I'm just starting. If I get any useful tips or techniques, I'll keep you posted.
Oh my goodness, I wish I had the answers!
I dont know the answer either...and that might be because I, too, would rather sit on my couch watching TV.
First, you are not alone.
Second, like Laura said, the big goals are the life-changing goals, so we tend to want to focus on them because we're sure that by doing so, our lives will change/improve/progress.
Third, but like you said, it is the little goals that really make the difference in a life. Do you follow through with the small things? I think that is the toughest part of life. The small, almost invisible choices we have to make.
Fourth, I'm having the same problem as you. I want to go to grad. school, but I can't force anyone to accept me. All I can do is write poems. But, I know that just because I write them, doesn't mean that they'll be accepted. So, this panics me, and hence, my writer's block. Big goal: Grad. School (mostly out of my control) Little goal:poems (I avoid them like the plague).
In the end, I pray and say "H.F., there's nothing I can do about X, so please give me the strength to do Y and Z. And forgive me for being lazy...(I always add this last part in)." ;-)
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