So for those of you who don't know yet, I have been called to be the Young Women's President in my ward. It has been two weeks and I have already managed to forget to show up at a fireside that the YW were scheduled to babysit. Fortunately I have a good excuse. I was in bed in pain, so back off folks. Not you readers of course, but anyone who might want my head on a platter for forgetting.
That is not however the topic of this blog. I need some help. We have an interesting issue in our ward in that many parents seem to have somehow forgotten that they are responsible for their children. It's kind of weird because being in Y.W.'s means that they have at least been parents for 12 years, right? So, it is surprising to me that for some reason, some parents feel that providing transportation for their kids or arranging that is always someone else's job.
For example, we have recently instituted the 'the YW Presidency will not be arranging rides for all the girls to all the events' motto. If the activity is at the Stake Center we are now allowing parents the opportunity to arrange carpools of their very own, or in some other way get their kids to the events. We will continue to arrange rides for the big events like Girl's Camp, Youth Conference, etc. This new program was not well received by most, but we have continued on.
We also have an issue with girls actually arriving at the church on time when we are arranging rides. My new announcement to girls and parents is 'if you are not there by ____ we will assume that you are either not coming or have your own ride.'
So, I'm feeling good about helping parents and girls alike to be a bit more accountable, but am faced with a new little 'how do I handle this' situation.
Why is it that even though we have Mutual every Wednesday night from 7-8:30, we still have parents that can't manage to be to the church at 8:30? I understand that they have families, other children, stuff going on, but seriously, every week??? I was at the church until 9pm tonight waiting for a parent to come. Now this particular family has had YW in YW for 4 years. This is not a new schedule and yet we have this lovely interaction EVERY week.
Me or another leader: So, does everyone have a ride
Girl: Um, I don't know
Me or another leader: So, is your mom or dad coming to get you?
Girl: Um, I don't know
Me or another leader (in our head): seriously? You have no idea how you are getting home? Is the tooth fairy going to come and fly you off, because if you think that you are getting in my car for me to drive you home, you are a touch out of your mind.
Me or another leader (out loud): Well, why don't you call and let them know that we are all done and waiting to go home?
Girl: um, ok
10 minutes later
Me (in my head): in 5 seconds I am going to start you on the way home, walking
Me (out loud): So, are they coming to get you?
Girl: I don't know, I haven't called yet
REALLY??? So I have a couple questions: (seriously)
Would you:
a) talk to only the offending parents
b) send out a newsletter first with a reminder that girls are to get picked up at 8:30 in order to allow the leaders to go home to their families
c) find someone to pass the buck to?
d) another other really good ideas
Just curious.
9 comments:
I say toilet paper the houses of the offenders and then leave a signed note so they know it was you and that your ticked. Let me know how that works out.
Seriously though, that's tough. I wish I had the answers.
A newsletter sounds like a good idea if you put in there that you will take Bronwyn's advice and tp their place if they don't comply. But I don't know how effective the newsletter will be. Those parents already know that they have to pick up their girls at 8:30. They're just choosing not to because they know you will stay until they do or they hope you will take them home. They're just being thoughtless.
I think you need to call the offending parents. You can make it seem like you're calling all the parents by saying that you want to make everyone is aware that this is a problem and you would love everyone to do their part. And if it continues you can call them back and say, "What I meant by everyone was you."
I agree with Rachel
When I was in another ward, we had a BIG problem with this. We decided to have a fireside for the parents and youth to handle the issues.
We went over all the upcoming activities, how we needed parental support, and what were to "rules" to these events.
Oh, and of course we ended with "Jesus loves all of your children, and knows what an important job you have as parents. You can show Jesus how much you love Him, by being responible and on time."
Well, I tend to be pretty passive agressive when it comes to potential conflict, so I would probably start with the newsletter. Too bad you can't threaten to leave the kids there by themselves!
I know...assign a parent a week, on a rotating basis, to come to the activity and be the one that has to stay there and wait for everyone to get picked up. And guess who would get to be first? Yep, the offender!
We had some problems with the whole parents vs. leaders ... So we started to have the Beehive leader meet with the new girls and their moms (even ... no, wait, especially if the parent already had an older daughter) to go over the way the "program" works.
That was semi effective, so we had a Bishop's Fireside devoted to the roles of parents and youth for activities. It's getting better, but our girl's problems are a little different. Sigh.
Don't you love people? And don't you love when Liz puts in a "Jesus loves everyone" statement. I'm so grateful!
You have to call those parents. I also think that you should have one of your counselors or advisors in the pking lot reminding parents, when they drop their kids off, to be back at 8:30 or to ask who is picking their child up.
You were totally put in this calling for a reason...and it sounds like one of those is to shape people up! Come on. Hee haw!
I just want to say that I love my new calling as a teacher in Relief Society. :)
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